Well, it has been brought to my attention that the majority of my blogging has been so full of negativity. I have to admit that I have done my blogging at some of my darkest and most depressive states of mind. I do this to help get it off my chest so that it doesn't boil up into something darker than what it already is.
I want everyone to know that not all my days are dark and sad like that. I do actually have a great life full of joy, love and support. Those of you who know me really well know that I am a fighter. I refuse to let RA beat my spirit down and steal the joy and great moments from me!!
I have decided to blog both when I'm happy and also when I'm down. There are two sides to every story, including the story of my life Living with RA. Yes, there are those days when the pain and fatigue are overwhelming and, quite frankly, I am angry and depressed about it. But there are also those days when the tiniest and most simple things just fill my heart with the greatest joy!!
Learning to accept this disease and what it is doing to my body has been one of the greatest challenges I think I have ever had to face. On that note though, accepting it does not mean giving in to it!! I have every intention of fighting back with everything I have in me!! I have goals in life that I have yet to achieve ... I just have realized it will take a little longer and maybe even some ingenious creativity on my end to achieve them.
I still want to further my education. I think I might go into photography!! I don't really know if I can turn that into a career or not ... but I know I love it and can have fun and get a lot of joy out of taking pictures!! That is all that really matters in the long run ... what I can find to do that can help me feel productive and happy!!
I still want to travel ... that is going to be more of a financial goal to help me achieve that one ... time to start saving my extra pennies!!! I want to go on a cruise through the Caribbean hitting all those tiny little islands. I want to go to Rio!!! I want to go to Germany and visit all the castles there!!! Yep!! I really better get serious about saving all those extra pennies, nickels and dimes!!!
I want to be as active as I can be in my youngest daughters activities and with my grand baby as well!! I want them to know that I am one tough bird who has a passion for life!! I want them to see and learn from my 'I CAN' attitude!! Even on my worst days I want to interact with them with a gleam in my eye, a smile on my face and show them that life is wonderful!!!
Yes, life can and will throw you some curve balls ... it's in how you strike back at it that counts!! You can either cringe and let it hit you hard or you can come out swinging and hit it hard!! I choose to come out swinging and hitting it hard into the bleachers (giving me enough time to hobble through all the bases until I come back around to home plate)!!!
My point is this ... I refuse to let RA victimize me and only show the negative side!! I do still have a life, even through all the pain. I might not get around as well as I use to, my body might be changing but my spirit, my very essence is still the same!! I am a fighter, a survivor and a great person who loves life, fun, love and happiness!!
{Pain Free Hugs} ~ K
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